Rantings of a Flakey Blogger

I've been a flakey blogger, reader, and commenter lately. First there was the big move, and before I could even get fully recovered from that, all sorts of other stuff started happening. Once the dust settles I'll fill you in on all the details, but for now just imagine several of the major life events happening simultaneously; that's my life at the moment. For the record though, I am NOT pregnant. And NEVER will be. Yesterday's reader question was most definitely made on behalf of someone other than myself!

Since I'm on that subject, allow me to share something that really gets under my skin*. I'll start by saying that I am child-free by choice, and in fact I've known pretty much since I was a child myself that kids just weren't my thing. For years I've put up with random people, some of whom barely know me, lecturing me on how I'll change my mind. I've put up with new parents insinuating about all the wonderousness I'm missing out on and how a woman really isn't a woman until she's a mother. I've even put up with doctors who flat out refused to consider giving me a tubal ligation, and one who even told me he would require my then-husband's PERMISSION to get one. I wish I were kidding.

What I will NOT put up with, however, is the parents who say things like this: "Oh, it must be nice to be able to go out to dinner" or, "Gee, it must be nice to treat yourself to new clothes and a pedicure." Yes, in fact it IS nice. But it's not like this was some big secret that the rest of the world hid from prospective parents, and frankly it's not my fault that other people made choices in life that required certain sacrifices which perhaps they weren't prepared for.

The implication in statements like these is that I chose my path simply for selfish, frivolous indulgences such as pedicures or a new pair of shoes, and that because I shirked the important job of parenting, I have time for silly pleasures. And that implication really pisses me off. I chose not to have children for a variety of very personal and very well-considered reasons. That I also get to enjoy my free time and indulge in some of the finer things in life is great too, but if I'd had a real drive to have children, none of those things would've mattered; I'd have made the appropriate sacrifices and not whined about it to people who didn't. We all make our own choices in life, and we should be supportive of each other regardless of how those choices might be different from our own. Not having children comes with its own set of sacrifices too, not the least of which is a general lack of understanding from the rest of the world.

Living child-free means living in the minority. And it takes a certain bravery and self-awareness to willingly put yourself there, to be sure. So just as we can admire the women who are loving, committed mothers (and I do!), so should we admire and support the women who choose a different path. Us non-mothers have plenty to offer the world too, besides just buying up its shoes.

Today's outfit:
Top: La Redoute
Jacket: Tulle
Green slip: All Saints
Skirt: LA Made
Shoes: John Fluevog

*Please note, this post is not in any way related to yesterdays' reader question or in fact to anyone who comments on this blog, it was just something that's been on my mind lately and which I was reminded of by all the talk about pregnancy.

Allow Me to Introduce... My Lizard

Have you been watching the new Life series on the Discovery Channel? I'm absolutely enthralled with shows like that, and I was particularly excited to see that one of the first episodes was dedicated entirely to reptiles and amphibians. I've hinted at my great love for herpetofauna on the blog before (and perhaps you've guessed it from my snake tattoo), but today I thought I'd go a step further and introduce you to Charlie, my pet lizard.

Charlie is a Chuckwalla lizard, and is native to the American southwest desert regions. I'm not entirely sure of his origins, though my assumption is that he was originally wild caught in Nevada. Having been purchased at a pet store, he belonged to a friend's son when I lived out in Minnesota, and when the son went away to college I adopted Charlie. That was in the winter of 1998, which would make Charlie at least 12 or 13 years old (they can live up to 25 years).

Charlie is a smallish lizard, measuring about 11 or 12 inches from nose to tail. However, he resides in an enclosure of epic proportions, which is roughly 5 feet tall, 4 feet wide and 2 feet deep. He inherited this palatial residence from my beloved iguana Pet, who passed away a few years ago. At first I wanted to get rid of the enclosure because the reminder of Pet was too painful, but in the end I decided that upgrading Charlie's living quarters was a more fitting tribute. So there it sits, taking up an enormous amount of space in my studio apartment. Watching Charlie, a rock-dwelling species, clamber clumsily up and down on the branches is entertainment that more than makes up for the oversized footprint of the enclosure. And more importantly, he really seems to enjoy having all that space.

You might not think it by looking at him, but underneath Charlie's harmless looking exterior lies the heart of a killer...

...of flowers. Yes, this diminutive reptile has an insatiable appetite for anything sweet smelling and brightly-colored. Nasturtiums are one of his favorite treats, and he's ruthless in devouring them. He's so enthusiastic when he gets a treat that you'd think he was a Komodo Dragon going in for the kill. He's especially attracted to the color yellow, and once he even tried to eat my DeWalt drill when Mark and I were making some repair on his enclosure.

The coolest thing about Charlie is his ability to inflate his body with air when he's scared or pissed off. In the wild, Chuckwallas inflate in order to squeeze themselves into rock crevices and prevent predators from extracting them, but after living predator-free for all these years, Charlie is pretty relaxed and rarely does it anymore. The only time he does is when he gets a bath, which then causes him to bob around in the water like a buoy. If I weren't afraid of stressing him out too much, I'd probably bathe him more often just to giggle at the sight of him floating in the tub.

Do you have any exotic or unusual pets?

Prom Queen

Charlotte charged me with exhibiting my prom picture, per the instructions in this tag:

The rules:
~ Upload your prom picture. If you don't have one, email your mom and have her send it to you.
~ Don’t forget to include the year it was taken. Again, don't be shy. The older the better.
~ Grab the "Prom Queen" button and add to your post. Isn't the button adorable? Thank you Danielle, The Design Girl. You must check out her fabulous sale!
~ Copy and paste the rules to your blog.
~ Tag 5 others!

Well Charlotte, you asked for it, you got it. In all its over-the-top lacey extravagance and ridiculous 80's makeup glory, here is my high school prom picture:


The year was 1986 and I was a junior at Del Campo High in a suburb of Sacramento. I went to the prom with a friend who ran in the same circle of friends as I did. I have no idea where I got that dress, but I do know one thing: it had a hell of a lot of lace going on. Funny that, because I was never much of a girly-girl in high school. What prompted me to don that Stevie Nicks special I shall never, never know. My dress the next year was all black velvet and satin with a sexy plunging neckline and cutout back, but I couldn't find a photo from that dance. Anyway, this one's way funnier.

I've seen quite a few of these things going around and don't want to re-tag anyone, so I'll just let you all share if you're game.

Oops!

I almost forgot! Astute reader Alison correctly guessed that I drive a Mini Cooper cabriolet. I suppose it's the cheeky nature of them that appeals to me so. However, my second choice when I was car shopping a year and a half ago would have been a VW Bug, as Melanie guessed. In fact the first two cars I ever owned were 1971 Beetles, and I loved those cars. Ah, memories...

A Yucatan Yuletide

This was the house my friends and I rented in Mexico over the holidays. It was in a little town called Chicxulub on the Gulf of Mexico, about 30 minutes from Merida. As gorgeous as it looks, I swear the photos can't even do it justice. I knew it was going to be nice, but when we walked in the first night I was absolutely floored. The photo on the left is the back of the house, viewed from the beach. On the right is what you see when you walk in the front door. Welcome home, indeed. There were 10 of us and the place didn't feel one bit crowded. And then there was the pool...



...as viewed from the private balcony in our room. My favorite part of the house though was the front entry, with the interesting play of shadow and light and the white bougainvilla winding its way up the natural tree trunk column.



Of course, the trip wasn't all about serenity and natural beauty...



Since I didn't actually ask any of my friends if they minded being featured on my blog, I'll refrain from posting photos of anyone else here. If you're interested though, the whole trip is chronicled on my Flickr page. I'm not really sure why I feel there's a difference between posting photos there versus here, but somehow it just seems so. I'll share one of my favorite photos though, since you can't tell who anyone is. It features the most sought-after souvenir brought back from Merida, the wrestling mask:



Oh yeah, my friends are a bunch of nuts. And pretty much the most awesome people I could ever imagine spending the holidays with.

Reader Question: Adding Interest to Your Wardrobe

I tend to be fairly bad at responding to all my reader comments, though I appreciate them very much. I do try to answer whenever a direct question is asked, though, although it sometimes takes me several days to get around to it. Today I got a comment/question that I felt was a meaty enough topic to do an entire post on, since I've had similar comments from other readers. Here is bekster's comment:

"I love the idea of hats and would probably wear them more often except that I lack the courage (at this point) to stand out. On that subject, since I started lurking a few weeks ago (hello!), I have been meaning to ask you... Have you always been creative with clothes, or was there a point when you just decided that “ordinary” was not good enough and you didn’t care what others thought? I want to use my clothes as an outlet for creativity, but since I don’t usually have occasion to“dress up,” I am afraid that I would shock my friends (in a negative way). Is there a way to ease into more interesting clothes so that others get used to the idea, or am I just a coward and need to plunge into it without worry for what others think? By the way, your blog is lovely, and I agree about hats. I just think the problem is more psychological than physical."

First of all, thanks for commenting, bekster. I always like seeing new readers stopping by, and I'm glad you enjoy the blog. I'll start with my own experiences. I started playing around with style way back in the 80's, and have sported an awful lot of envelope-pushing looks that make me cringe now. Thinking back over some of those styles, I would say my current one is fairly tame by comparison. During the 90's I wore far more boxy t-shirts and figure-hiding sweaters than I care to admit, but by 2000 or so I decided I was ready to start putting more effort into my wardrobe again. I feel like my current style has had a long evolution and is one that has staying power.

I'm not sure I've ever approached style with the notion that ordinary wasn't good enough. Over the years I guess I've just learned to embrace standing out with what I wear, because it's so much better than not being noticed. I wouldn't say that I don't care what others think, either; quite the opposite in fact. But what I've learned is that you will never please everyone with the way you dress, so it's far better to dress for yourself and attract the sort of people whose opinions you care the most about. What do I care if some stuffy, unimaginative person doesn't like my clothes? It's the interesting, creative people I really want to hang around with, and they are generally the ones who like the way I dress. If you always dress for yourself, and to express yourself, then the people who gravitate to you will be the ones who really get you.

On to the question of your style. First of all, I doubt very much that your friends would react negatively if you added some flair to your wardrobe. Friends generally love seeing their friends happy, and I can tell you from experience that looking good is a great way to improve the way you feel. So I think the only barrier to dressing the way you want is you. That said, I'm not sure I'd advise a 'plunging in' approach either. You will need to allow your style some time to evolve, and once you start experimenting there are probably going to be a few looks that don't stick. It's better to find out what you like and don't like before you've invested in a pile of clothes you never wear. Start simply; try a few interesting accessories like scarves or belts. When you buy new pieces of clothing, look for ones that are really unique and of good quality and fit. Those are the pieces that can transcend fads and be worn in different ways as your style evolves. Find the pieces that are really and truly you, and that appeal to your asthetic alone. Trying to dress for anyone else is pointless; for one thing you can almost never predict what somebody else is going to like or dislike, and for another thing isn't it better to have people see the real you?

I'd highly encourage you to give it a try. You certainly don't need to dress 'up' to dress creatively, so don't wait for an occasion! You should dress to feel good about yourself every single day. And if it shocks people at first, so what? How bad is it, really, to have someone gasp and say, "Wow, you look GREAT!"? Trust me, you'll get used to it.

Creativity Unleashed

I really adore this new Noa Noa dress -- this is already the second time I've worn it since I brought it back from Paris just a few weeks ago. Today I gave it more of a relaxed look by adding the Western-style boots (from an unknown Italian manufacturer) and the belt that Mark and I made. The brown knit shirt is from Anne Taylor, the scarf is from my local import store, and the tights are also from Noa Noa.

As promised, here are a few pictures of the recent work I've done on my little apartment (all these photos are clickable). After I moved the refrigerator out of my shoebox-sized kitchen and into my unnecessarily-large dining room, I was inspired to make all sorts of other changes, of which the dining room paint was the most recent. I posted my kitchen wall graphic project before, and since that time I added all these rail-mounted storage gadgets from Ikea, as well as this tall, narrow shelving unit, magnetic spice rack, and pot rack (also all from Ikea). I also painted my cabinet doors a bright apple green from the drab white they had been.






In the dining room, I traded a giant round dining table for a small one with drop-down leaves, replaced a large wooden chest with a small computer desk, and added this gorgeous marigold color to the walls. Even with the addition of the refrigerator I still have more open space in there than I did when most of the room was consumed with the round table. The new color actually makes the room feel larger, and helps to tie together the different colors in my 2 large pieces of artwork. Note the sleeping dog in the photo to the left; that's how Georgie looks about 90% of the time.

Several years ago I decided I was really bored with biotech and wanted to do something vastly different. I got about halfway through an interior design program before I decided that my scientific career had taken a turn for the better and I was going to stick with it. I'm happy with the decision I made, but I still feel those creative urges and am constantly searching for outlets for it in my daily life. Besides my office wear, my apartment is the place I most frequently unleash my creativity.

Eleven Little Things

So the lovely Sal over at Already Pretty tagged me with this meme about a hundred years ago, but at the time I was on vacation and when I got back I was so busy that I was barely able to keep up with my regular posts. I randomly remembered it just now and figured I'd better get cracking.

1. Clothing Shop: Noa Noa, hands down. Sadly, they have no stores in the US.
2. Furniture Shop: Though the prices can be astronomical, I still love all the modern classics at Design Within Reach.
3. Sweet: Lemon bars
4. City: If I could live in any city in the US, it'd be the very one I live in now: San Francisco. If I was to move abroad, I'd love to live in Copenhagen.
5. Drink: Maker's Mark Manhattan
6. Music: Right now I'm loving Hjálmar, an Icelandic reggae band. Reggae sung entirely in Icelandic that deals with topics like dead sheep, elf women, and icy roads? Come on, what could be more delightful?
7. TV Series: I think my all-time favorite is still M*A*S*H. I was a kid in the 70's.
8. Film: Amelie
9. Workout: Walking my dog, Georgie -- or better yet, sailing with her.
10. Pastries: Cheese danish
11. Coffee: Any of Blue Bottle's coffees, black.

I know the meme specifies that you must tag others, but instead I'm just going to invite anyone who feels like it to share these 11 little tidbits about yourself.

Birthday Suit

Since today is my birthday, I thought I'd go out on a limb and wear something that I'm not 100% sure is actually work-appropriate. Hey, if you can't get a little cheeky on your birthday, when can you? In case anyone is wondering, I am 39 today, and I don't feel one bit old. It must have something to do with the fact that I'm in love. =)

I got these shorts at Mango a few years ago and haven't yet been brave enough to wear them at work, and now I really can't figure out why. With the addition of the tights, button-down shirt and structured jacket, the whole outfit has the appearance of a casual suit, which is actually far dressier (not to mention more stylish) than what most of my colleagues wear on a daily basis. I think you'll be seeing more of these shorts in the future. The jacket is by Max Studio, shirt from Promod, tights from Noa Noa, and boots from Bata.

Leslie's Challenge

I finally got around to taking Leslie's Red, White, and Blue Challenge today. It's not that I've been lazy or that I haven't wanted to, it's simply that it keeps slipping my mind. Because the truth is... and I know this is going to be tough to swallow, but... I haven't been watching the Olympics. I have a good reason, though, which might be even harder to believe: I don't watch tv. At all. That's right; no cable, no network tv, no nothing. Oh, I own a television alright, but since I get no channels on it, it's really just a dvd player with a screen built in. I know, it's weird. Un-American, maybe, but there it is.





Nevertheless, I was inspired to rise to the occasion not from any Olympic fervor or pang of patriotism, but because I do think that red, white, and blue can look chic together and because I always love a challenge. Dare I also admit that the sexy secretary theme of today's ensemble was inspired by the fact that I knew Mark was going to be coming over tonight?

Blouse: Red Dress Shoppe
Cropped tartan jacket: A. Byer
Navy pencil skirt: Moon Collection
Belt: Red Dress Shoppe
Blue t-straps: Paolo

Memento Mori

This outfit was originally supposed to include tights and short boots, but since my new tattoo was still pretty sore this morning I decided to leave my legs bare. The new design looks really good so far; it still needs color and shading, but the artist I go to is booked out for the next several months, so I will have to live with it in its unfinished state for awhile. In the outfit picture to the left you can see the placement of it and get an idea of the size. I had originally conceived this as a very small, simple design -- you can see how well that idea worked out.

Memento mori translates roughly to, "Remember that you will die." It sounds a little morbid at first, but really it has to do with living life to the fullest because our time here is limited. I came across a lot of examples of memento mori when I traveled in eastern Europe the last couple of vacations, and it sort of struck a chord with me. Curious Expeditions has an interesting article on the concept of memento mori as applied in the Sedlec Ossuary, one of the places I visited, here. The look of the design is based on the art nouveau style of Alphonse Mucha, some of whose work I was fortunate enough to see when I was in Prague. As the idea for this tattoo developed, the complexity of all the concepts I was trying to incorporate ended up necessitating a larger image.

Okay, on to the outfit. I got this little ecru dress from Lady Language for $20 on sale. The knit fabric is very soft, swingy, and comfortable. The button-down shirt is from Old Navy, short-sleeve jacket by BCBG Max Azria, and shoes by Cole Haan. I love the ruching and button details on the bodice of this dress, and am looking forward to trying out other ways to wear it that will show off those details more.

Tonight I'm heading to Minneapolis for an extended weekend, so there won't be a post on Monday. I hope everyone has a lovely weekend, and I'll be back with more work outfits on Tuesday.

Fresh Ink

Today I decided I needed to boost the color quotient, since my earlier outfits this week have been comprised mostly of neutrals. My original starting point for this outfit began with the random proximity of this cropped vest by Hale Bob with a different teal top, but since that one didn't work out I ended up with this long teal t-shirt instead. Not content with wearing one simple t-shirt, I layered on this gathered v-neck tee from H&M for more of a colorblock effect. The orange skirt is from Sunhee Moon.

I picked up these Nine West slingbacks recently at a thrift store for $10. They show zero signs of wear and indeed have probably never been worn at all, since they still had the original tags on them (original price: $69.99!). Normally I'm not a huge fan of slingbacks but these are surprisingly comfortable and don't dig into the backs of my heels at all.

As I described in yesterday's post, I pick out the week's outfits in advance. Usually I'll have some idea of the order in which I'll wear them, which is generally based on the weather forecast, how much walking I'll need to do that day, or other factors such as important meetings or presentations. Today I had another factor to consider: after work I have an appointment for a new tattoo. Since it will be on my thigh just above the knee, I wanted to wear a skirt with no hose or leggings. It's not often you hear about designing an outfit for a tattoo appointment, but there you go. I'm tempted to say this will be my final tattoo, but I'm pretty sure I said that the last time around, so I'll refrain.

Coincidentally, Bits & Bobbins posted an item recently about tattoos and posed the question of whether or not people consider them when they dress. For me I'd say the answer is generally no; in fact I often forget I have them and am sometimes taken aback when people stop me to ask about them. I do consider them when I'm shopping, however, and have sometimes rejected an item if it cuts across any of my tattoos in a funky way. In general I'd prefer to show the whole thing or none of it, with the exception of the snake tattoo on my shoulder, which I allow to peek discreetly out from under many of my tops. I'll try to post some photos of the new design tomorrow, although fresh ink looks vastly different from what the final result will be.

Smitten

This is my second post today, as last night I was happily distracted by spending time with Mark. I surely can't think of a better reason to skip writing one of my weekday blogs.

The purple knit top is from Anne Taylor, cropped pants from La Redoute, hat from Monsoon, and shoes from Steve Madden. This is one of those belts with which the poor quality is causing it to fall apart after very few uses, therefore a sturdier mustard-colored belt is on my list of items to purchase in the near future. Perhaps the very near future; unfortunately Mark left this morning to go visit his family for the weekend, so it's entirely possible that I'll spend a good chunk of time shopping this weekend... and thinking about him.

Here is my 'I'm smitten' pose.

Pirate

On Saturday I had 2 events to attend, for which I wore variations on the same outfit. First up was a birthday party for Mark, a wonderful, adorable guy I just started seeing a couple of weeks ago. We really seem to click and I'm super excited about the whole thing, and well, he's probably going to read this so perhaps I shouldn't say too much. Trust me, he's awesome, and I'll undoubtedly be mentioning him again. Anyway, this is what I wore to his party. I wanted to look cute without being overly dressed up, so I put together this combo of jeans and mixed neutrals, with a few accessories to add some flash.

The black drape-neck top is from Sunhee Moon and the khaki top is by Susina. The scarf is Banana Republic, the jeans are Lucky, and the shoes are by Bobbi Blu. I paired the striped shoes with some zigzag socks for a little fun pattern mixing. The belt is a dark brown faux-croc, which added another mix of patterns with the scarf draped alongside.

Next up was an engagement dinner party for my best friend Laura, who's appeared on this blog before. The bride and groom-to-be took the entire wedding party to dinner at a very nice Vietnamese restaurant in the SoMa neighborhood, so I needed something dressier than jeans. First I tried just swapping the jeans for a skirt and adding some fun patterned stockings, but I felt that the flats were still too casual, so I traded them for boots.




























I adore these boots from Modern Vintage. They were ridiculously expensive and a splurge I didn't really need to make, however I've gotten a lot of use out of them and they're remarkably comfortable. I just love the cuffed tops; they remind me of pirate boots. Also of note with this outfit was the fact that the tops of the stockings had a little touch of purple, and although nobody could see them, I like the fact that they matched with the purple under-layer of the skirt.

Hand-me-ups

This purple tunic top is one my sister Jessie was getting rid of because she'd outgrown it. In fact I took several items of clothing off her hands during my visit over the weekend. Funny how when the donated clothing is coming from a sister that's 20 years younger than you, it's not quite the sacrifice that most people imagine when they think of hand-me-downs (would it be a hand-me-up, in this case?). The jeans are from Level 99 and the yellow t-strap pumps from Gabriella Rocha. The handbag is by Cochinelle and is one I bought during my last visit to Venice. I haven't used it in awhile, but now that I'm well over the crummy ex-boyfriend I was with when I bought it, I guess I can put it back into use again. The jewelry is from a vendor on the Charles Bridge in Prague.

Empty Nest

On Friday I watched my youngest sister Jessie graduate from high school. Since my other sister Kim moved out a few years ago, and of course I was long gone ages and ages ago, poor mom is now left with an empty nest after 38 continuous years of having kids in the house. I decided to soften the blow with a little shoe therapy; I brought her an adorable pair of Biviel mary janes. Here we all are, coincidentally matching with teal in all of our outfits. That's Jessie on the left, then Kim, mom, and I.

Portland

This evening I'm flying up to Portland, OR for my sister's graduation, so I wanted an outfit that would be comfortable for traveling. The mod colorblock tunic top is from the Red Dress Shoppe, and is lightweight, swingy and soft. The skirt is from Lemon Twist, and the boots are Bata. It's another day that requires tights; sunny but a little too cold for bare legs. Over the tights I have a pair of striped knee high socks for a little extra color. The hat is from a shop in Hamburg, Germany and the scarf is from a local import store.

There will be no work outfit tomorrow, since I'll be hanging out with the family, but if my sisters will oblige I may post some pictures of us all dressed up for the graduation ceremony. My sisters are significantly younger than I, 18 and 21, and are a couple of stylish ladies. I can't wait to see them!